Taking your own advice

   This in itself can be very hard to do. I remember telling someone in my Sunday school class that God loves us and doesn't take from us without returning to us more than what was taken. I told her to be patient, listen and she would see.

   Well when God took Denise from me for what I saw as no good reason I became very angry. I turned my back on Him and pretty much every other person in my life. The anger consumed me to the point of near self destruction. I could not see that it was Him who brought Cheryl into my life, part in fact that I felt as if I were betraying Denise in some way also. So much was going on I could not focus on any one thing for very long. I had an ex-wife trying to push her way into my life and another idiot who thought she could be what I needed. All along what I needed was to be left the hell alone!
 
  That is what Cheryl did. After our first date I didn't stay in touch with her. I needed to think,  that's hard to do when you are surrounded by idiots. She allowed me the space I needed. Some may see this as crazy, not that I care, but I spent a fair amount of time at the cemetary just talking to Denise about it and it helped. I don't know if she knew my pain, it is said there is no sorrow in Heaven, but when I would leave I found myself at peace. Cheryl did eventually contact me and the timing could not have been better and she has been with me ever since.

   So God, I guess what I'm saying is forgive me for not trusting you and thank you for Cheryl. If there's no sorrow in Heaven then Denise could not have seen me several months ago but I'll bet she can see me now!
   Now if only I could control the idiots in my life it would be perfect. But I guess I'm going to have to handle that one on my own...Gods way of keeping me humble.